Money Smart Parenting

Every parent knows the challenge of getting a toddler to listen, especially when they’re engrossed in play or resisting a task they don’t enjoy. The good news is that small changes in the way we communicate can make a big difference. Here are some helpful phrases to use when your little one isn’t paying attention, designed to foster cooperation, empathy, and fun.

“Okay, 2 minutes and then we’ll do it later.”

Toddlers don’t always respond well to sudden transitions. By giving them a time frame, like “Okay, 2 minutes and then we’ll clean up,” you ease them into the idea that the current activity will need to end. It also lets them feel like they have a bit more control, making the transition smoother. Follow through after the two minutes, and if necessary, gently remind them with “Now it’s time to clean up.”

“Let’s go cook (something he loves), then bath.”

If there’s an activity your toddler doesn’t like—such as taking a bath—it can help to pair it with something they enjoy. For example, “Let’s go cook spaghetti (something he loves), then bath,” frames the less desirable activity as part of a routine that also includes something fun. This approach can make the task seem less overwhelming because they know something enjoyable is also coming.

“I see you’re busy, but I need your help.”

Sometimes toddlers aren’t ignoring you—they’re just deeply involved in what they’re doing. Instead of simply telling them to stop, acknowledge their focus and ask for their help. “I see you’re busy playing with your blocks, but I need your help to tidy them up” makes them feel important and respected, which can motivate them to cooperate.

“Let’s do it together!”

Tasks like cleaning up or getting dressed can feel overwhelming for toddlers. Offering to help by saying, “Let’s do it together!” turns it into a team effort. This also models the behavior you want to see and makes the task feel less like a command and more like a game or bonding moment.

“It’s time to…”

Instead of giving your toddler a choice where there isn’t one, use a calm but clear statement like, “It’s time to put on your pajamas.” This communicates what needs to happen without room for debate. Adding something fun like “Let’s see who can do it faster!” can make the task more appealing.

“I know it’s hard to stop playing, but we’ll do it again later.”

Toddlers often struggle with stopping an activity they enjoy because it feels like it might be the last time they’ll get to do it. Acknowledge their feelings by saying, “I know it’s hard to stop playing, but we’ll do it again later.” This reassures them that the fun isn’t over forever and helps them transition to the next activity more willingly.

“What do you need to finish before we can…?”

When toddlers aren’t listening, it’s often because they feel like they haven’t finished something important to them. Ask them, “What do you need to finish before we can go outside?” This shows you respect their process and helps you better understand what’s holding them back. It also encourages them to think about how to transition on their own.

“Do you want to do it yourself, or should I help?”

Toddlers love to feel independent, so giving them a choice can work wonders. Asking, “Do you want to put on your shoes yourself, or should I help?” gives them a sense of control. They may be more likely to comply when they feel they’re making the decision.

“Let’s have a countdown!”

Transitions are difficult for toddlers, so making them fun can ease the process. Saying, “Let’s have a countdown! In 10 seconds, we’re going to wash our hands,” gives them a heads-up that something is changing and creates excitement around it. The countdown also helps prepare them mentally for the shift.

“Thank you for…”

When your toddler listens, it’s important to acknowledge it. Phrases like “Thank you for putting your toys away!” reinforce positive behavior and encourage them to continue cooperating in the future. Celebrating small successes builds their confidence and helps them feel proud of their actions.

Final Thoughts

Toddlers are naturally curious and independent, which sometimes makes it seem like they’re not listening. However, by using clear, respectful, and playful phrases, you can guide them more effectively through daily tasks. Whether it’s giving them a sense of control with phrases like “2 minutes and then we’ll do it later” or creating positive associations with activities, such as “Let’s cook spaghetti, then bath,” you’re helping them navigate transitions with less resistance and more joy.
By fostering cooperation through understanding and empathy, you’ll not only make life smoother for yourself but also strengthen your bond with your little one.